The Reality of a Stay-at-Home, Working Momma

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I’m an overachiever. Always have been, always will be. It takes a lot for me to raise a white flag and declare that I’m sinking. That I need help. That I don’t know what to do. Admitting that I can’t problem solve my way out of a mess is really, really difficult for me but here I am. I need help.

Today was a difficult day… but before I explain to you about my difficult day, let me first tell you the brief synopsis of who I am in case this is your first time here.  My name is Erin, I own a company (started it when I was 21, been at it for 8 years now), I have a 13 month old daughter named Willow, I’ve been married since 2005 to my best friend and I like to stay active and social.

Okay.  Now that you know who I am, let me tell you about why I am sitting here blogging right now instead of tackling my massive to-do list, e-mailing clients, putting away that laundry I just folded, putting dinner away or… well… any of the other hundred things I could be doing.

I’m blogging right now, instead of doing all of that, because I don’t know what to do really.  I am paralyzed by the thought of my next step and I am feeling so overwhelmed that thinking I’ll ever get out from this overwhelm is a little bit of a fantasy at the moment.

Today was a difficult day.  My nanny, who is also a supply teacher, got called in to supply teach, which left me without her help for the day.  Then, Steve started back on evenings and he had appointments this morning, which meant that I was solely responsible for Willow for most of the entire morning, afternoon and evening.  HUGE props to single mommas everywhere… I don’t know how you do it and maintain sanity.  Before you jump down my throat about, “Wow, you have to look after your own kid for the day?  That’s tough?” let me finish.

I also was up until 4AM the night before working on client work.  I went to bed and woke up at least twice before 9:30AM to nurse Willow.  I got out of bed at 9:45AM.  So, I had 5 hours of broken sleep.  Awesome.

While Steve fed Willow breakfast and played with her, I got an hour’s worth of work in.  He had to get ready to leave around 11AM so I went into Willow-mode, all the while making breakfast, cleaning up the main floor, getting laundry on and entertaining Willow.  I got Willow down for a nap at 1PM so I jumped into work-mode again but she woke up 45 minutes later.  I nursed her back to sleep, jumped back on my computer and got approximately 45 more minutes before she woke up.

Once she woke up, I fed her lunch, played with her for a bit, ate some lunch of my own, got her and I dressed and ready to go out, went to the computer store to get some new RAM for my broken desktop, took her to Chapters to play in the kid’s section, back home for her dinner and I made a macaroni casserole.  Luckily my sister stopped by for a visit and she was able to keep an eye on Willow while I cooked dinner, otherwise dinner probably would have been ruined and in the garbage.

Then, we did bath time and she was tired so I thought YAY, might get a break here, so I tried to put her down but she fought me and kept calling for “dada” but alas, he was at work so I fought her while she fought sleep and eventually, I gave up.  (No, we don’t do cry it out and no, I don’t want to do that but if you have any other ideas about how to get her to fall asleep on her own, I’m all ears and yes, I’ve read “The No Cry Sleep Solution.”)

Downstairs we went at 8:30PM and I put her in the Jolly Jumper to burn off some energy (yes, she still fits in it!) while I answered some e-mails and watched parts of The Bachelor in the background (holy shit, something that is actually for me slipped into my day!) until Willow grew bored of the jumper and then we read books and I played with her and pulled her around in a box (yep, expensive fun right there!).  At around 9:45PM, she started to look sleepy again so upstairs we went for some oatmeal and cuddles and then I fought with her again to try and get her to sleep.  FINALLY at 10:25PM, she fell asleep.

I run out of her room, go to the three laundry baskets of clothes in the hallway, begin to fold one, get halfway through before realizing that they must have sat in the washer too long because they have that “sat in the washer too long” smell so I pick up all of the folded laundry, throw it back in the basket and set it in front of the washer to be washed AGAIN.  I fold the other two baskets of clothes before checking my e-mail again.

However, I took one look at my e-mail and said, “OVERWHELMED!  So, I’ve gotta blog instead” so here I am.  The laundry is folded but not put away, dinner is cooked but still sitting on the counter to be put in the fridge, the baby is sleeping but only for the moment and my work keeps piling up.

I realize that my writing went from past to present to future tense throughout all of that but that’s sort of what it is like in my head right now.

I’m so tired that I can’t think straight but instead of being able to go to bed, I NEED to get some work done because my clients have requests, my team has requests and they are all urgent.  Plus, Willow will more than likely wake up in the next 30-45 minutes to be nursed back to sleep and well, there is no point in just going to bed, is there?

This post is a total vent-fest and I get that there are other circumstances which are way worse than mine but I’m just having a woe-is-me kind of day and the first night that Steve goes back onto evenings is ALWAYS the toughest so… yeah.

If you have any advice for this stay-at-home, working momma, I’d love to hear it!

(Before you provide advice, here are some things you may want to note… (1) I can’t do daycare as I’m still nursing Willow so I need a nanny… we’re looking for a nanny that has a more reliable schedule so if you know of one, let me know.  Yes, our nanny knows this already so if she reads this, she won’t be shocked and appalled… (2) … She’s up so I’ve gotta go.)

  • Kate

    oh i have so been there with you!  lack of sleep is what makes it horrible.  i promise, as soon as you get some sleep it will all come together and the everything will be ok.  laundry folded is an accomplishment in and of itself.  totally low priority.  put food away so it doesn’t spoil, ONLY handle the honestly urgent emails/issues (be honest, what can wait until tomorrow afternoon?) and then GET SOME SLEEP!  seriously. 

    • http://www.bsetc.com Erin Blaskie

      Thanks so much Kate… you are right.  The days that I have lots of sleep, I can get through whatever I need to get through.  The days when my sleep is lacking, things definitely feel much more unsurmountable.  I appreciate you sharing that you’ve been there before too — it’s comforting to know there is another “side”.

  • J A Tracey

    Have you tried playing low music in her room….maybe it’s too quiet when she goes to bed and is detecting that…it’s a thought. Also, if you’re tired and stressed, she will pick up on that which may make her not co-operate. Like Kate says, prioritize your emails and leave ones that can wait until later and get some rest….try going to bed when Willow does and set the alarm for an early wake up….not sure if you tried that but it could work. I wish I could help you out…I would take care of Willow and do your housework……love you, Auntie  xoxo

    • http://www.bsetc.com Erin Blaskie

      Hey auntie! We have a noise maker in her room, which plays ocean waves.  I totally agree — she definitely picks up on my stress so I need to try some deep breathing techniques and things of that nature.  I love you too Auntie and I wish you lived closer (and not so you can do my housework but because it’d be nice to have your company more often!)

  • http://www.facebook.com/dawnwinstoncullo Dawn Cullo

    Laundry will get worn even if it sits in the basket for weeks, trust me on that one.  So don’t worry about folding it right away.  You should not work on any household chores while you are working at home, it’s hard I know but you need to put on some blinders to the mess.  I think about doing Laundry and cleaning up while I am at home working but it isn’t a priority at that time, my clients are.  The dishes in the sink will pile up during the day and that is ok.  You can wash them at night.  What used to happen to all of your household chores when you worked outside of the home?  They got done on the weekend and at night, so I suggest that same type of schedule now.    How about creating routine for your household.  For example – Monday night – do only Willow’s laundry and of course she helps you, Tuesday – dust & vacuum in the afternoon while she is watching TV,  Wednesday – Steve’s Laundry,  Thursday – Grocery Shopping etc.  Also, plan out your meals for at least two weeks in advance and try doing some make ahead meals as well. I’ve found some great crockpot recipes on Pinterest where you can chop and prep all your ingredients at once and put them in a ziploc bag and freeze them.

    It is almost impossible to be a stay at home mom and have a full time job at home because being a stay at home mom is a full time job already.  I used to be just like you, taking care of Abby all day, trying to work but I ended up staying up all night to work and getting little sleep.  What ended up happening is I got sick, really sick and then both of my girls go sick.  Let’s just say that October 2011 was a total blur to me.  What happens when Mommy’s get sick? You don’t get sick leave and so you are useless to baby and to your business.  So the #1 priority is you.  Like when you are on a plane and they show the emergency video, they show that you are supposed to put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then put it on your child because you can’t help your child if you are passed out from lack of oxygen.  Same point here, you can’t help your family if you are run down and sick.  So again, YOU are the #1 priority.  Take time for yourself too, it is good for the soul.  I know that is hard as well.  My only real ‘me’ time is when I run, and that is only for 30 minutes.

    I understand that you are still nursing Willow but you might think about this here, don’t get mad BUT somethings got to give.  I know that you want what is best for her but at what cost, you are going crazy trying to do it all.  You have a very successful business and if you want to keep running it that way then you might think of some alternative care for Willow for few hours out of the home.  Is it possible that you can pump and send bottles to a daycare? 

    I had to make a few shifts in my lifestyle this year as well being a work at home Mama.  There was no way I was going to be able to grow my business or even give my clients the attention they needed if I didn’t put Abby in daycare.  Trust me, putting her in daycare was not what I really wanted to do.  BUT if I wanted to work, and I mean really roll up my sleeves and work with my clients then she had to go into daycare.   I decided to put her in daycare and she loves it.  She even takes a nap there and is out of the home from 8:30 – 2:00.  I can tell you that those hours fly by! I also feel like a less stressed Mama because I only work from 8:30 – 2:00 and then I spend time with the girls and the household ‘duties’ in the afternoon.  It works for us, may not work for your situation but there you go.

    So from what you have said, it sounds like you have a decision to make.  Do you want to keep working at the level you are?  If so then you might want to think of alternate daycare for her, such as in someone’s home for a few hours.  Or do you want to scale back your efforts in work and be able to be with Willow and your household more?  They way I see it, something has to change.

    Hang in there Erin.

    • http://www.bsetc.com Erin Blaskie

      Hey Dawn! So much great advice in here and I am going to absorb it all, sleep on it (haha) and then make some decisions tomorrow.  

      The reason I am hanging on to nursing is because that is how I put her to sleep and I have no idea how to approach sleep without nursing her… ideas? :)  That and she’s still totally attached to the boob lol

      Sigh… I wish life / business were easier.  You definitely get where I’m at though so thank you for sharing your experiences.  I know it comes from someone who has walked in my shoes (and is still walking in them!)

      xo

      • Cindy W

        Hey Erin,

        You can continue to nurse Willow to sleep and in the morning if you want to.  I’d imagine that she’s getting most of her nutrients from solids and that bf’ing is comforting for both of you.  When I weaned Nic, the night time feed was the last to go; because I enjoyed it and it worked for our situation.  I agree with what Dawn has said and something has to give.  I hope it’s not your sanity.  It’s awesome that she’s using the airplane oxygen mask analogy as I use that one with many of my counselling clients.  Without you placing a priority on yourself, you’re not going to be any good to anyone in both the short and long term.  LMK off line if you’d like to chat.  Maybe I can help with looking at options for childcare.  We’re expecting #2 in late Feb so I can relate to the lack of sleep EVEN MORE than when we met last summer!

        You’re an amazing mom and this too shall pass :)

  • http://jollyjess6.blogspot.com Jessica Jollyjess

    I totally hear you! My husband works about 60 hours a week between 2 jobs with 1 day off. I feel like a single mom most of the time. Up until last month{graduated now!} I was going to college full time from home. It was incredibility hard and stressful to read {dry} material for school at 3AM and take timed tests with Ethan waking up frequently since he is still nursing.  I got very little sleep since I did my work when Ethan was asleep. I don’t really have any good tips. I tried to focus on my graduation date. I made millions of to-do lists based on urgency. I tried to let Ethan work on independent play time{ in the same room} for 20 minute intervals so I could squeeze in some work. I hope you are able to get some rest. <3

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002481069807 Louise LouLou

    Hope today is a better day for you Erin.  I have to say you have done incredibly well to get through your day like that on such short notice and with lack of sleep, you have accomplished a whole lot more than you are possibly giving yourself credit for.

    My situation is obviously different from yours so you can take what you want from what i say. 
    When i returned to work full-time i was suddenly faced with having to squeeze everything that i did in a day into a just a few hours in the evening.  Believe me i tried, but i soon found that i just burned myself out. It’s definitely challenging balancing work, housework, and family – you just have to take some time out to look at your routine/schedule and determine what is going to be the best way to go about your day to keep it running as smoothly as possible and keep your sanity.

    Seriously, some things can wait!  I picture a pyramid in my mind (actually i was sad enough to draw it) and determine what is my top priority; my job to pay my bills and afford to take care of my family. My 12.5 month child who is completely dependedent on me.  Then i look at what absolutely needs to be done on a daily basis to keep my top priorities functioning.
    The things that can wait until i truely have a moment or when hubby is around are usually the chores. Thise go to the bottom of my pyramid.  It’s hard to let the chores wait but in hindsight those don’t get me to work and the chores don’t look after my child.

    I now leave my laundry until the weekend (that’s when i have time for them).  I used to iron my clothes – YES! Well not anymore, they get put away and i know there will be clothes for the week.  Every couple of weeks i make a small batch of something that i can freeze. Now, most importantly, there’s food for my child that i can quickly warm up if we’re up against a tight schedule.  The slow cooker has become my best friend!
    Meal planning has helped, because i don’t have time to keep running to the food store should i run out of ingredients.I choose a day/s to vacuum the high traffic areas, and leave the other areas to when i have time.

    As for nursing, i’m still nursing Nathanial, morning and evening before bed; and too if he wakes in the middle of the night and doesn’t soothe himself (that’s becoming more frequent lately – WTF?!). Plus when i feel like it.To play devils advocate; maybe you do have another option to consider daycare.  Although i know that’s not an easy decision to make and it’s not always ideal, but what i’m trying to say is even though an idea may not seem feasible, or to your liking at first,  it may turn out to work in your best interest. It doesn’t necessarily have to be daycare though.

    You can take this situation and learn from it. Then figure out what you can do to make that same day go a little bit better for you if it were to happen again.  By the sounds of it you have a plan of action already with finding a new nanny.  So no doubt you will work it out.
    Good luck and huge hugs :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002481069807 Louise LouLou

    Hope today is a better day for you Erin.  I have to say you have done incredibly well to get through your day like that on such short notice and with lack of sleep, you have accomplished a whole lot more than you are possibly giving yourself credit for.

    My situation is obviously different from yours so you can take what you want from what i say. 
    When i returned to work full-time i was suddenly faced with having to squeeze everything that i did in a day into a just a few hours in the evening.  Believe me i tried, but i soon found that i just burned myself out. It’s definitely challenging balancing work, housework, and family – you just have to take some time out to look at your routine/schedule and determine what is going to be the best way to go about your day to keep it running as smoothly as possible and keep your sanity.

    Seriously, some things can wait!  I picture a pyramid in my mind (actually i was sad enough to draw it) and determine what is my top priority; my job to pay my bills and afford to take care of my family. My 12.5 month child who is completely dependedent on me.  Then i look at what absolutely needs to be done on a daily basis to keep my top priorities functioning.
    The things that can wait until i truely have a moment or when hubby is around are usually the chores. Thise go to the bottom of my pyramid.  It’s hard to let the chores wait but in hindsight those don’t get me to work and the chores don’t look after my child.

    I now leave my laundry until the weekend (that’s when i have time for them).  I used to iron my clothes – YES! Well not anymore, they get put away and i know there will be clothes for the week.  Every couple of weeks i make a small batch of something that i can freeze. Now, most importantly, there’s food for my child that i can quickly warm up if we’re up against a tight schedule.  The slow cooker has become my best friend!
    Meal planning has helped, because i don’t have time to keep running to the food store should i run out of ingredients.I choose a day/s to vacuum the high traffic areas, and leave the other areas to when i have time.

    As for nursing, i’m still nursing Nathanial, morning and evening before bed; and too if he wakes in the middle of the night and doesn’t soothe himself (that’s becoming more frequent lately – WTF?!). Plus when i feel like it.To play devils advocate; maybe you do have another option to consider daycare.  Although i know that’s not an easy decision to make and it’s not always ideal, but what i’m trying to say is even though an idea may not seem feasible, or to your liking at first,  it may turn out to work in your best interest. It doesn’t necessarily have to be daycare though.

    You can take this situation and learn from it. Then figure out what you can do to make that same day go a little bit better for you if it were to happen again.  By the sounds of it you have a plan of action already with finding a new nanny.  So no doubt you will work it out.
    Good luck and huge hugs :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002481069807 Louise LouLou

    Hope today is a better day for you Erin.  I have to say you have done incredibly well to get through your day like that on such short notice and with lack of sleep, you have accomplished a whole lot more than you are possibly giving yourself credit for.

    My situation is obviously different from yours so you can take what you want from what i say. 
    When i returned to work full-time i was suddenly faced with having to squeeze everything that i did in a day into a just a few hours in the evening.  Believe me i tried, but i soon found that i just burned myself out. It’s definitely challenging balancing work, housework, and family – you just have to take some time out to look at your routine/schedule and determine what is going to be the best way to go about your day to keep it running as smoothly as possible and keep your sanity.

    Seriously, some things can wait!  I picture a pyramid in my mind (actually i was sad enough to draw it) and determine what is my top priority; my job to pay my bills and afford to take care of my family. My 12.5 month child who is completely dependedent on me.  Then i look at what absolutely needs to be done on a daily basis to keep my top priorities functioning.
    The things that can wait until i truely have a moment or when hubby is around are usually the chores. Thise go to the bottom of my pyramid.  It’s hard to let the chores wait but in hindsight those don’t get me to work and the chores don’t look after my child.

    I now leave my laundry until the weekend (that’s when i have time for them).  I used to iron my clothes – YES! Well not anymore, they get put away and i know there will be clothes for the week.  Every couple of weeks i make a small batch of something that i can freeze. Now, most importantly, there’s food for my child that i can quickly warm up if we’re up against a tight schedule.  The slow cooker has become my best friend!
    Meal planning has helped, because i don’t have time to keep running to the food store should i run out of ingredients.I choose a day/s to vacuum the high traffic areas, and leave the other areas to when i have time.

    As for nursing, i’m still nursing Nathanial, morning and evening before bed; and too if he wakes in the middle of the night and doesn’t soothe himself (that’s becoming more frequent lately – WTF?!). Plus when i feel like it.To play devils advocate; maybe you do have another option to consider daycare.  Although i know that’s not an easy decision to make and it’s not always ideal, but what i’m trying to say is even though an idea may not seem feasible, or to your liking at first,  it may turn out to work in your best interest. It doesn’t necessarily have to be daycare though.

    You can take this situation and learn from it. Then figure out what you can do to make that same day go a little bit better for you if it were to happen again.  By the sounds of it you have a plan of action already with finding a new nanny.  So no doubt you will work it out.
    Good luck and huge hugs :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002481069807 Louise LouLou

    Hope today is a better day for you Erin.  I have to say you have done incredibly well to get through your day like that on such short notice and with lack of sleep, you have accomplished a whole lot more than you are possibly giving yourself credit for.

    My situation is obviously different from yours so you can take what you want from what i say. 
    When i returned to work full-time i was suddenly faced with having to squeeze everything that i did in a day into a just a few hours in the evening.  Believe me i tried, but i soon found that i just burned myself out. It’s definitely challenging balancing work, housework, and family – you just have to take some time out to look at your routine/schedule and determine what is going to be the best way to go about your day to keep it running as smoothly as possible and keep your sanity.

    Seriously, some things can wait!  I picture a pyramid in my mind (actually i was sad enough to draw it) and determine what is my top priority; my job to pay my bills and afford to take care of my family. My 12.5 month child who is completely dependedent on me.  Then i look at what absolutely needs to be done on a daily basis to keep my top priorities functioning.
    The things that can wait until i truely have a moment or when hubby is around are usually the chores. Thise go to the bottom of my pyramid.  It’s hard to let the chores wait but in hindsight those don’t get me to work and the chores don’t look after my child.

    I now leave my laundry until the weekend (that’s when i have time for them).  I used to iron my clothes – YES! Well not anymore, they get put away and i know there will be clothes for the week.  Every couple of weeks i make a small batch of something that i can freeze. Now, most importantly, there’s food for my child that i can quickly warm up if we’re up against a tight schedule.  The slow cooker has become my best friend!
    Meal planning has helped, because i don’t have time to keep running to the food store should i run out of ingredients.I choose a day/s to vacuum the high traffic areas, and leave the other areas to when i have time.

    As for nursing, i’m still nursing Nathanial, morning and evening before bed; and too if he wakes in the middle of the night and doesn’t soothe himself (that’s becoming more frequent lately – WTF?!). Plus when i feel like it.To play devils advocate; maybe you do have another option to consider daycare.  Although i know that’s not an easy decision to make and it’s not always ideal, but what i’m trying to say is even though an idea may not seem feasible, or to your liking at first,  it may turn out to work in your best interest. It doesn’t necessarily have to be daycare though.

    You can take this situation and learn from it. Then figure out what you can do to make that same day go a little bit better for you if it were to happen again.  By the sounds of it you have a plan of action already with finding a new nanny.  So no doubt you will work it out.
    Good luck and huge hugs :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002481069807 Louise LouLou

    Hope today is a better day for you Erin.  I have to say you have done incredibly well to get through your day like that on such short notice and with lack of sleep, you have accomplished a whole lot more than you are possibly giving yourself credit for.

    My situation is obviously different from yours so you can take what you want from what i say. 
    When i returned to work full-time i was suddenly faced with having to squeeze everything that i did in a day into a just a few hours in the evening.  Believe me i tried, but i soon found that i just burned myself out. It’s definitely challenging balancing work, housework, and family – you just have to take some time out to look at your routine/schedule and determine what is going to be the best way to go about your day to keep it running as smoothly as possible and keep your sanity.

    Seriously, some things can wait!  I picture a pyramid in my mind (actually i was sad enough to draw it) and determine what is my top priority; my job to pay my bills and afford to take care of my family. My 12.5 month child who is completely dependedent on me.  Then i look at what absolutely needs to be done on a daily basis to keep my top priorities functioning.
    The things that can wait until i truely have a moment or when hubby is around are usually the chores. Thise go to the bottom of my pyramid.  It’s hard to let the chores wait but in hindsight those don’t get me to work and the chores don’t look after my child.

    I now leave my laundry until the weekend (that’s when i have time for them).  I used to iron my clothes – YES! Well not anymore, they get put away and i know there will be clothes for the week.  Every couple of weeks i make a small batch of something that i can freeze. Now, most importantly, there’s food for my child that i can quickly warm up if we’re up against a tight schedule.  The slow cooker has become my best friend!
    Meal planning has helped, because i don’t have time to keep running to the food store should i run out of ingredients.I choose a day/s to vacuum the high traffic areas, and leave the other areas to when i have time.

    As for nursing, i’m still nursing Nathanial, morning and evening before bed; and too if he wakes in the middle of the night and doesn’t soothe himself (that’s becoming more frequent lately – WTF?!). Plus when i feel like it.To play devils advocate; maybe you do have another option to consider daycare.  Although i know that’s not an easy decision to make and it’s not always ideal, but what i’m trying to say is even though an idea may not seem feasible, or to your liking at first,  it may turn out to work in your best interest. It doesn’t necessarily have to be daycare though.

    You can take this situation and learn from it. Then figure out what you can do to make that same day go a little bit better for you if it were to happen again.  By the sounds of it you have a plan of action already with finding a new nanny.  So no doubt you will work it out.
    Good luck and huge hugs :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002481069807 Louise LouLou

    Hope today is a better day for you Erin.  I have to say you have done incredibly well to get through your day like that on such short notice and with lack of sleep, you have accomplished a whole lot more than you are possibly giving yourself credit for.

    My situation is obviously different from yours so you can take what you want from what i say. 
    When i returned to work full-time i was suddenly faced with having to squeeze everything that i did in a day into a just a few hours in the evening.  Believe me i tried, but i soon found that i just burned myself out. It’s definitely challenging balancing work, housework, and family – you just have to take some time out to look at your routine/schedule and determine what is going to be the best way to go about your day to keep it running as smoothly as possible and keep your sanity.

    Seriously, some things can wait!  I picture a pyramid in my mind (actually i was sad enough to draw it) and determine what is my top priority; my job to pay my bills and afford to take care of my family. My 12.5 month child who is completely dependedent on me.  Then i look at what absolutely needs to be done on a daily basis to keep my top priorities functioning.
    The things that can wait until i truely have a moment or when hubby is around are usually the chores. Thise go to the bottom of my pyramid.  It’s hard to let the chores wait but in hindsight those don’t get me to work and the chores don’t look after my child.

    I now leave my laundry until the weekend (that’s when i have time for them).  I used to iron my clothes – YES! Well not anymore, they get put away and i know there will be clothes for the week.  Every couple of weeks i make a small batch of something that i can freeze. Now, most importantly, there’s food for my child that i can quickly warm up if we’re up against a tight schedule.  The slow cooker has become my best friend!
    Meal planning has helped, because i don’t have time to keep running to the food store should i run out of ingredients.I choose a day/s to vacuum the high traffic areas, and leave the other areas to when i have time.

    As for nursing, i’m still nursing Nathanial, morning and evening before bed; and too if he wakes in the middle of the night and doesn’t soothe himself (that’s becoming more frequent lately – WTF?!). Plus when i feel like it.To play devils advocate; maybe you do have another option to consider daycare.  Although i know that’s not an easy decision to make and it’s not always ideal, but what i’m trying to say is even though an idea may not seem feasible, or to your liking at first,  it may turn out to work in your best interest. It doesn’t necessarily have to be daycare though.

    You can take this situation and learn from it. Then figure out what you can do to make that same day go a little bit better for you if it were to happen again.  By the sounds of it you have a plan of action already with finding a new nanny.  So no doubt you will work it out.
    Good luck and huge hugs :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/go2girls Laurie Cantus

    Hey Erin – What you are going through is hard! I’ve done it with three babies (and my youngest is about the same age as Willow). My first two babies didn’t sleep through the night until after we were done nursing at 18 and 15 months respectively  (and by that time I was already 5 months pregnant with the next one – both times – I think I didn’t have a full nights sleep for almost 4  1/2 years. ugh.). I used nursing to get them back to sleep for a loooong time, because I didn’t have the energy to figure anything else out, and it was easy. Anything else I tried made them cry. By the time Liam came around, 11 months into it, I was finally WAY to exhausted to keep going like I was. 

    On advice from our pediatrician I read and followed the exact steps in a book called The Sleep Easy Solution. I swear to you, in 1 week, he was sleeping through the night. (AND I’m still nursing in the mornings, and occasionally in the evening as part of our bedtime routine.) You don’t have to give up nursing until you are ready! and, you CAN continue to nurse a baby AND have them sleep through the night!  This book I read does not use the cry-it-out method. I couldn’t do that even if I wanted, as it would wake everyone else up (and I don’t like it anyway). The steps in this book are very gentle, and it all made sense. 

    If you don’t want another book to read, I suggest checking out Diana Blanco of Smooth Parenting (here: http://smoothparenting.com/Home.html). If you don’t want to go it alone, and want support, she is awesome. I spoke with her several times, and she was going to be my next step if the book didn’t work for me. She guarantees to get your baby sleeping through the night. She also does not use the cry it out method.

    Also – I have a nanny that comes to my home to take care of my kids. I don’t like traditional daycares, and I like to see my kids every once in a while when I come out of my office. The whole point of working from home for me was to be able to be with my kids. Anyway – hang in there! You’ll find something that works for you.Laurie Cantus